How to Embarrass a Cullen
by Books r a gurls bestfriend
Summary: ok new summary. So this is just a bunch of stories of war at the cullens house. It includes all of them, even bella, carlisle and Esme. This is my first Fanfic so tell me how it goes! P.S. out of character.
1. Emmett makes his move

Author's note: hey this is my first fan fic. But please don't hold back on your feelings. If you think its horrible then tell me, just tell me why. If think it was brilliant then tell me why. So without further delay I give you " How to Embarrass a Cullen."

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from twilight unfortunatly.

**How to Embarrass a Cullen**

**This chapter is from Emmett's Point of view:**

Muahahaha! Today I will get revenge on Edward. Last week Edward and I were supposed to go hunting together but he ditched me to go hang out with Bella. He will definitely pay for that! 

_"Edward!" _ I screamed in my head.

" Coming Emmett." He said back.

Ok now just don't think about your plan Emmett. Think about other things. Ok I can do this.

_" Oh look at what a lovely day this is. I wonder what is taking Edward so long…hm… maybe I should go investigate. Think quietly. Or else he will here you Emmett. Just keep thinking quietly. And walk quieter. Why am I talking third person? That was weird. Ok now watch that first stair. Its really squeaky."_

_**Squeak! **_

_" Darn it! Ok almost there. Just keep thinking quietly. Just one more stair. Alright. Now quietly open the door. OH MY GOD! EDWARD! He's making out with Bella! Ewww! I could never kiss Bella. She's like a sister to me."_

" Emmett?" Edward said. I knew that if Edward could blush, he would be. However Bella was as red as a tomato!

_" Darn it I stopped thinking quietly!"_

" Oh I can see your buisy, I'll just uh…leave." 

Wow I didn't even have to try to get Edward to be embarrassed. Oh well, another job well done. 

Author's note: ok so leave reviews. I know that this probably isnt the best fanfic but I am new. But please don't keep that from telling me how you really felt about it.


	2. Authors note

HEY EVERYONE

**HEY EVERYONE! I HAVE A COUPLE OF ANNOUNCEMENTS!**

**ANNOUNCEMENT #1: OK IF YOU READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED ANOTHER CHAPTER OR IF I SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT AS A ONE-SHOT ( I HAVE A FEW IDEAS D ). AND IF I GET ENOUGH YESES I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS! **

**ANNOUNCEMENT #2: I WANTED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD WRITE ANOTHER FANFICTION. I REALLY WANT TO BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEAS. OK I HAVE A FEW, BUT I NEED SOME GOOD ONES BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE MINE VERY MUCH. THEY SEEM TO BE…TIPICAL. AND I DON'T WANT MY FANFICTIONS TO BE AVERAGE. I WANT THEM TO BE ABOVE AVERAGE. SO LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!**

**ANNOUNCEMENT #3: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ADDING MY STORY TO YOUR FAVORITES LIST! IT MEANS A LOT TO ME! ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC! SO THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO HAS SUPPORTED ME! **

**THAT'S ALL! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS! MESSAGE ME PLEASE!**

**THANX IN ADVANCE!**


	3. Pay back time

Authors note: ok so this is the second chapter and this time all of the Cullens are helping Bella and Edward get back at Emmett

**Authors note: ok so this is the second chapter and this time all of the Cullens are helping Bella and Edward get back at Emmett. Thank you to all of you who reviewed! It was much appreciated! Ok I'll stop talking so you can read now!**

**EPOV**

I glanced at the clock. 5 o'clock P.M. and Emmett was due back from the store any minute now. My family and I had made up an evil plot. We sent Emmett to the store and while he was gone, with permission from Rosalie, gave their room a make over.

Just then Emmett interrupted my thoughts. He had walked in and placed the "groceries" on the kitchen counter. Of course Rosalie went with him so she could give us a warning if they came home early. Rosalie quickly threw me a glare that I read to either be a " he's on to us" glare or a " lets hurry up and get this over with" glare. I was hoping it was the second one, because I guess something on my face told her we weren't finished staging everything.

"_You guys have 10 minutes until he is expected to walk up." _ Rosalie thought.

Just before I walked upstairs, I decided to take a quick glance at Emmett's thoughts. All I could find was pictures of Rosalie that I didn't want or need to see, and random music playing. Which leads me to think that he is either on to us or that he has a few tricks up his sleeve too. But hopefully I was jumping to conclusions and I was wrong.

As I turned to walk up the stairs, Alice came walking down. I quickly read her thoughts.

" _Keep Emmett downstairs until I tell you otherwise." _

"What's wrong Alice?"

" _We kinda ran into a few…" _

I could tell that she was editing her answer. I searched through her thoughts, but found nothing. Another bad sign.

" _Unexpected obstacles." She finished._

" Care to elaborate?" I questioned, even though I already knew her answer.

" _Not really…" She answered. _

As I walked back into the kitchen, I quickly grabbed a bag and started to help Emmett and Rosalie start to put things away.

" _What happened?" _Rosalie thought.

" Nothing" I mouthed and then nodded.

She just raised her eyebrows at me. About 15 or 20 more minutes passed with Emmett, Rosalie, and I just chatting about anything to pass the time, until finally I heard Alice signal to bring Emmett up.

" Hey Emmett, Can I talk to you privately?" I told her that it was time to put our plan into action with a glance.

" Sure." Emmett replied.

" Thanks, its kinda personal." I lied.

" Hey…uh…Emmett…" I studdered for dramatic effect, " Um, well…you see yesterday, I…uh kinda saw Bella checking out Mike Newton, and I was wonder why she would do that, and I was thinking maybe it was his muscles…" psh…yea right, that weakling, **(sorry if there are any Mike lovers reading) **" So I…was kinda hoping that maybe you could help me start working out."

Emmett just laughed, and watched my "puzzled" face.

" Sure," he replied " Lets go to my room and pick out some weight for you."

Yes! It worked!

" Uh ok." I fought to still sound desperate.

As we walked upstairs I made sure that Emmett was in front of me the whole way. Rosalie got my memo and was already upstairs.

Even I freaked out at how much damage Alice had done. I knew Alice was good, but this was far past anyone's expectations. The walls where painted pink! The bed went from a plain white bedspread, with light blue pillows here and there, to a bed spread that was mainly hot pink with aqua colored stripes running through it. The carpet went from hard wood floors to a blue fuzzy one. Their were girly paintings of fields, oceans, lighthouses and puppies everywhere. But what really got him pissed was where his weights used to stand proud had been replaced by mountains and mountains of stuffed animals. It could make any guy die! Even Emmett! And he was already dead! I waited for the long line of profanities, but all I saw was Emmett's eyes practically out of his head, and him freeze right where he was standing.

Alice who was already a step a head of me, pulled out a camera and quickly captured Emmett's expression. For the life of me I could not stop laughing! Then to top it all off everyone came out wearing the girliest things I have ever seen! It truly was a sight to see!

**Well there you have it. 728 words, and another chapter well done, I hope. Please review and give me some ideas, because I am making this all up as I go along and really could use some ideas, so all help is apreciated. THANK YOU!**


	4. Authors note 2 PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE!

HEY GUYS

**HEY GUYS! THIS IS TWILIGHT LOVER! **

**OBVIOUSLY I CHANGED MY NAME. SORRY FOR ANY INCONVIENANCE, BUT I AM READING SOME OTHER FANFICS SO I WANTED TO CHANGE MY NAME! SO DON'T BE SURPRISED! I CHANGE MY NAME EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND I PLAN TO KEEP THIS ONE FOR AWHILE!**

**OK SO ABOUT MY STORY, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN IT, BUT I HAVE A LOT OF HOMEWORK LATELY AND I NEVER REALLY HAVE TIME TO WRITE IT, BUT IT IS WELL ON ITS WAY SO BE PATIENT AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET YOUR CHAPTER! MAYBE I WILL GIVE AN EXTRA CHAPTER OR TWO! **

**OK I KINDA KNOW PEOPLE REALLY HATE IT WHEN THE AUTHORS PUT IN AN AUTHOR'S NOTE INSTEAD OF A CHAPTER SO TERRIBLY SORRY! I REALLY DO APOLOGIZE BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYZ OUT OF THE LOOP!**

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! **


	5. Emmett Strikes Back

Okay, so thank you so much to all who reviewed

Okay, so thank you so much to all who reviewed! Especially to iloveedward1995! Thank you so much! I decided that I would use your ideas! So this chapter is for you! Gives a big smile :D!

**Chapter 4-Emmett Strikes back**

PART ONE

Ha! Lets see Edward keep a straight face after this one!

Ah. Revenge is so sweet. Thanks to my practically flawless plan Edward will get what he deserves! That little -mumbles incoherently**-**

Anyway, so things couldn't be going better! Edward is at Bella's house, like usual, and isn't due back until about 3. I have to wait until after to get my revenge though. That is if I want a better reaction. Mwhahahaha!

**-3'oclock AM-**

" Hey Edward."

" Oh…hi Emmett." He paused, at looked at my face. Apparently he saw something that looked out of place. "Why are you smiling like that?"

Crap.

"I'm just very happy to see you. I wanted to play a board game with Jasper, but he said he was busy reading.I was thinking of playing Twister. Do you wanna play?"

" Hm…well I don't think that Bella will be waking up anytime soon, so sure why not."

Always thinking about Bella. Doesn't he ever think about my satisfaction? Just because I am not a brunette, female and skinny means I don't matter? God.

" Emmett you do to matter." I gave him a meaningful smile.

Too late to try to comfort me. The smile meant nothing _Edward_.

" Emmett. Stop thinking that way."

" Let's remember that _I _control what I want to think."

Just then he opened his mouth to play something but I cut him off.

" well are we gonna twister or not?"

He sighed and said " Let's go."

After Emmett won Edward at twister

" Good game Edward."

" You cheated!"

" Did not!"

" Did too!"

" DID NOT!"

" DID TOO!"

" Boys, what is going on here?" Esme said hearing all of the screaming and yelling.

" Emmett cheated!"

" I already told you that I didn't cheat!"

" Liar." Edward mumbled

" Why don't you have a rematch? I'll be the referee."

" Nah. I really have to get back to Bella. She'll be waking up soon."

Always thinking of Bella. Doesn't he care about us any more? Ok well anyway Step one of my marvelous plan: Get out of the house unnoticed.

" Emmett where are you going?"

Crap. Alice.

" No where Alice."

" Good. Then you won't mind if I stand here until you leave."

" Nope. Not one bit!"

Alright Alice. You want to be like that? I can be just as bad!

Tick tock. Tick tock.

"Fine. You win."

" Like I always do!"

" I'm…sorta getting back at Edward."

After she was done laughing and caught her breath she said " Emmett, you don't stand a chance unless I help you."

I sighed and said " Do you wanna help me Alice?"

" Duh."

" Ok… Emmett so here's what we are gonna do."

-10 minutes later-

" Perfect!" Alice whispered.

" Ok now we just wait for Edward to get back."

Mwhahaha!

**Ok I know that this isn't really a prank, but the next one will have the prank and the reaction. I think that I will be posting several chapters at one time. You know to make up for not updating in a while. Anyway hope you enjoyed! More chapters coming up soon!**


	6. Edward

Ok

**Ok. So this is chapter 4 technically, cuz I posted 2 authors notes ((really sorry about that)). ENJOY! Oh and please review. The more reviews I get, the faster I write the next chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I sorta have been forgetting to put these, so in all of my chapters thus far I do not own any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer does, so God bless her soul.**

**Part two**

**EdPOV**

Emmett sure has been acting funny lately. When I came to get changed at 3, as usual, Emmett blocked all his thoughts from me. Then he asked me if I wanted to play twister with him. I said I would because he said no one else would. Well I searched Jasper's mind and his mind never mentioned that he wouldn't play with Emmett. As a matter of fact, no body's mind even mentioned that Emmett even asked Jasper to play.

So my question is why would Emmett lie to me about asking everyone? Something isn't right here. And I will get to the bottom of it.

APOV

Oh man! When I say job well done, I mean JOB WELL DONE! I can't believe Emmett and I did such a good job! Edward's face is gonna be priceless! He won't even know what hit him! MAN! Now all we have to do is wait till he gets back from Bella's house! Edward will regret the day he ever told me Bella wasn't allowed to be my own personal Barbie! I DO NOT TREAT BELLA LIKE MY OWN PERSONAL BARBIE!! Do I?

EdPOV **(Sorry for switching pov's so much)**

As I sat motionless on Bella's rocking chair, my favorite place to watch her sleep in her room, I began to think over earlier. Ok. Why would Emmett lie to me. Its gonna drive me crazy until I get to the bottom of this.

Could Emmett still be mad at me for giving his room a little make-over?

Is he planning to get back?

Should I be planning a prank just in case?

Ugh! I am supposed to know these things. I can read people's minds!

I sighed. Just then Bella started to stir. I sat motionless. Not moving a muscle. Soon she was sitting straight up. Her hair scattered, like a hay stack on top of her head, but it looked so…sexy. She wore an old, gray, that had a logo on it. She was wearing plain black shorts that stopped a few inches above her knee. And yet she looked so…attractive. Especially the look on her face. She was still half-asleep, when she realized that I was in the rocking chair.

She was immediately wide-awake. She threw the covers back, sending a cool breeze my way. In an instant she was in my lap. It was a miracle she didn't fall running over to me. A huge smile spread across her face.

I couldn't resist any longer. Without even thinking about it, I leaned down and brushed my lips on hers. Suddenly she pulled back.

" Can I have a human minute please?"

" Sure."

As soon as she left the room I let out a sigh. Why does Bella insist on us not getting married sooner? She is making me go crazy.

The moment she returned I felt complete.

She looked amazing, whether she thought so or not.

Her hair was pulled back into two French braids. She was wearing a dress **(on my profile)**. There was a thick strip of a caramel color in it, followed by a light blue and the rest was black. The dress fit her features perfectly. It was a halter top, and had a v-neck. Her shoes were a simple and plain silver ballet flats.

And yet she took my breathe away.

After breakfast, we agreed that we would go hangout at my house.

We had to take Bella's truck because running would be a little to noticeable, and I left my car at home.

When we arrived I couldn't believe my eyes!

I was speechless!

They really went all out this time.

" My…my…my…car." I managed to get out.

" EMMETT! ALICE!" I yelled/

" Yes?" they said in unision from behind a bush.

Dang it. I'm speechless again.

Just then Alice pulled out a camera. Darn her. She was working with him.

OH THEY WILL PAY FOR THIS. BOTH OF THEM.

**Ok. I don't feel this is one of my best chapters. But review and tell me what you think. So don't leave that little blue button hangin. It's calling your name. So push go.**


	7. Edwrd gets his way

AUTHOR NOTE: ok so it has been brought to my attention that I never told you guys what happened to Edwards car

AUTHOR NOTE: ok so it has been brought to my attention that I never told you guys what happened to Edwards car. So I plan to tell you in this chapter AND give you another prank/reaction. So R&R, and enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

Edpov

OH.MY.GOD. HOW COULD THEY SINK THIS LOW. I WAS FROZEN. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't move. I couldn't even think properly. But I wasn't going to let them the satisfaction in knowing that. So I forced my self to say something. Anything at all would have been great. But do you wanna know what I said?

" WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO DO TO MY CAR?!"

I was outraged! It was pink from the inside out, I'm guessing courtesy of Alice. There was a bumper sticker that read "Honk if you are gay!" and one that said, " I'm gay. How 'bout you?" And one that said, " GAY PRIDE". How could they do this to me? I WAS NOT GAY! I was engaged to Bella for God's sake! OMFG! They both better learn to sleep with one eye open. UGH!

-ONE WEEK LATER-

They will pay for this. BOTH of them! After Alice _**kindly**_ returned my car to its original condition, I decided my next plan would be genius.

Just as Edward thought that, Alice and Emmett walked in the room and his everything was going as planned.

The moment Alice stepped in the room she had a vision though. Edward could see that whatever it was, she was happy that she saw it. She gave Edward a smirk and a wink and continued what she was doing. Emmett, however, was clueless. He shuffled over to the living room. He sat down on the couch. Just then there was a farting sound in the room. Alice immediately shouted " EEEEWWWWW! Emmett!" Edward of course got it all on tape and posted it on the school web site.

The next day at school their was and assembly. Their compute teacher, Mr. Summers, had made a few arrangements on the school WEBSITE. So as soon as everybody was gathered, he started immediately. He opened up the homepage of the web site and everybody burst out laughing. On the front page of the school web site was the video of Emmett farting. Edward planned it all. He inserted a whoopie cushion in the couch in the living room, knowing that either Alice or Emmett would sit there. He would record it and post it on the school web site, which thanks to Alice, he knew that their would be and assembly today. He planned it perfectly. Everything went his way. He even had the help of Alice!

All of the girls in the high school stared at Emmett with disgusted or laughing faces. All of the guys teased Emmett.

Emmett vowed that that was the last time that Edward's face would ever smirk at him.

**Author's note: Short chapter I know. But please push that button that says go. PLEASE! The button needs some moral support. Give the button some moral support. Haha. Lol. **


	8. The Final Chapter

**Author's note: OK BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! I would like to start off though by saying sorry for taking so long with this chapter. The real announcement is that this will be the last chapter. Sorry but I am gonna write some other fanfics and I wasn't to pleased with this one, so sorry. But in this chapter Edward and Emmett are gonna make up. But that doesn't mean that their won't be a prank involved. **

** Chapter 6**

**EmPOV**

" Hey Emmett."

" Oh hello Edward" I said through clenched teeth.

" Well how are you this fine day?"

" I'm great."

" Good."

" So. Have you seen that new girl."

" The one with the long blonde flowy hair?"

" Yeah. What do you think of her?"

" She pretty hot. I would ask what you thought about her, but your gay remember?"

Queue face dropping. I could tell he was mad. Haha. I already knew he was gonna tell Rosalie though.

" Well now that I think about it, I think telling Rosalie would be a good idea Emmett."

Oh crap.

" You wouldn't dare."

" Would you care to watch me as I dare?"

" Edward."

" Emmett."

" Sorry."

" …Its to late to beg. Wait what did you say?"

" I said I was sorry. I'm sorry I started all of this."

" Yea I'm sorry too."

" Lets just forget this all happened."

" Yea."

A/N: ok I know that that wasn't a good prank but for those of you who didn't get it, Edward was trying to get Emmett in trouble. He was gonna tell Rosalie that Emmett thought that the new girl was hot. Ok so please review. And I already have a pretty good idea of what my next fanfic is gonna be about. Its Gonna be a truth or dare one. I know that there are tons of those out there but I think mine will be pretty good. And I mite write another one. If I do its gonna be an IM one. So thanks to all of my loyal reviewers. This won't be the last time you hear from me. I promise. So please be looking for my newest fanfics.

**Thanks,**

**Books are a girls best friend**


	9. last authors note for this story

**Hello again. This is books r a girls best friend here! I really missed writing and hearing from you guys so I FINALLY got around to typing the first chapter of my new story Truth or Dare with the Cullens. So please check it out. I just posted it today. I'm setting a goal for myself. Every week I would like to update at least once.**

**Thanx! **

**Luv you all bunches,**

**Books r a girls best friend 3**


End file.
